Is it possible to love your kids a little TOO much? I'm not sure, but sometimes I feel like I'm just bursting with love for my children. I know I have been so blessed with two sweet boys, and I am so thankful for the chance I get to be a mother. The other day I heard a phrase on TV about an adoption situation and I thought it was pretty good. The girl (who had placed a baby for adoption) said "I'm her mother, but I'm not her mom...." I am the mom. And for that I will be eternally grateful to have these little spirits in my life.

Call me weird, but I actually miss my kids after they go to bed at night, and I'm SO excited to see them each morning when we wake. I don't know what it is, but I think it is one of my most favorite moments of the day.... when Will wakes up and comes to hug and snuggle for a moment, and when Eli wakes up and reaches out of his crib for me. Don't get me wrong, parenting, and mothering are HARD. I totally loose my patience, sometimes several times a day. And I have many, many days when I think "I've got to get a job!" just so I can have a little repreive from the constant "mom" job. But then I have those moments before bed each night when I pray for my little ones and my heart is so full of love and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for giving me two very unique and special boys. So much love that I actually miss them for those few hours in the evening when I'm having some "down" time.

These little people are so precious. I get sad and mad at myself when I do loose my patience or get irritated or frustrated. We all do it, I know that, and I wouldn't be human if I never got bothered, but I'm learning how to do this and be the best mom I can. I am completely in love with these ages (Will is 5 and Eli is 2). I think so far, these are my most favorite. Will is such a big kid and can be so helpful for Eli. Plus he's learning so much in school and really growing and learning. We have actual conversations and he asks me deep, heart-felt questions like "why can't you have anymore babies" or "Will Eli be sad when he finds out he's adopted?" or he'll tell me things, out of the blue like "I believe in Jesus Christ!" and funny things like "I hope I don't have empanitits!" Yes, he totally made up an illness. And then there's Eli..... OH my Eli, how can I even begin to describe the many personalities you have. Every day I Eli is the best kid, he is off the wall crazy at times, and sweet and cuddly in the next moment. He makes me laugh, EVERY day. He LOVES me and wants me more than anyone (unless Scott is around!), he jumps and hops and flings himself everywhere, he says "Danks (thanks), mom!" for everything, never misses a chance to say it. He loves Will unconditionally, and when they fight, they feel so bad if they hurt each other that they both end up in tears.

I know I'm lucky and I love being a mom. Even on the challenging days, or the days when I feel like I'm not doing enough "stuff". I just have to keep reminding myself that I am doing the important stuff... hopefully. Like giving my kids millions of hugs and kisses, and telling them I love them several times a day. And trying to have FHE every Monday, and praying with them. I hope that counts for something!